Online Dating Guide & Blog

I’ve talked about this before but in a relatively short period I’ve had several woman contact me with the same question: why do men want to talk to me using our personal email accounts and should I give my email to them?

What I tell my readers is this: I wouldn’t be too worried about moving to personal email accounts. Often the reason people ask this is because they’re embarrassed to log into dating service at locations other than their house [...]

Filed under: dating advice

When I talk about what I think makes for a good first email, one thing I’ve argued in the past is that you shouldn’t be talking about yourself in one of these emails. As I’ve said, your profile is the place to talk about yourself, not your first email.

In this article I want to use an example to show why I think talking about yourself is a mistake. Also, I’ve been contacted by some men recently who complain that they [...]

Filed under: dating advice

Recently I wrote an article discussing the topic of a man re-contacting a woman after his first email was unsuccessful (that is, she may have looked at his profile but didn’t respond).

In that article, I discussed how the reader had a theory that contacting later could be beneficial because she may be more able to respond at that time. This wasn’t something that I had considered in my original article on contacting a second time (but an idea I [...]

Filed under: personal experience

Recently, a reader wrote to ask questions about re-contacting women at some point after the first email. He also talked a bit about my personal success compared to his and I wanted to address both of these areas in this article.

Here’s part of his email to me:

Filed under: dating advice

I’ve discussed writing first emails a good deal both on this site and in my free dating guide. One thing I’ve discussed in these areas is that I’ve never liked is the “form” email: where the guy writes one email and then plugs each woman’s information in to make it appear personalized.

Recently, a reader wrote me asking if I would review his general approach to writing emails. In this case, he was using a form email but I could tell [...]

Filed under: online dating guide

I was recently contacted by a reader asking that I review his first email style and when doing so I was reminded of what I talk about in my guide:

Sometimes the most important thing to do when dating online is to just come off as normal!

Perhaps more than anywhere else in life, normal can be exceptional with online dating. I say this because of the weirdness that can go on with online dating. Having a guy just write you a [...]

Filed under: dating advice

A reader writes in the following question:

Hello, your site has been very helpful, but I still have another question.
I read the article on why woman may not respond to emails, but I have a related issue. What do you think it means if women that I email view my profile soon after, meaning they theoretically have read them, and then do absolutely nothing? This happens a lot to me and is quite frustrating.
Thanks for any insight you may [...]

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A reader writes in that she was have some success with initial contacts but was struggling when moving beyond that:

Please address the SECOND email you send. I just began using Match.com and get lots of winks and have had a few first emails. But when they respond, their answers are short and not too informative or don’t seem to offer much to move things forward. More like “what do you want to know” when I haven’t asked the questions along [...]

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I cover my approach writing first emails with online dating in my post First Contact Email Examples. In that article I also give some examples of how I would write some first emails based on several random dating profiles.

Filed under: internet dating

You’ve been sending emails back and forth after meeting using an online dating service. Things are going great! The emails are getting more in-depth, you’re sharing more about each other and a first date seems all but certain.

Then they suddenly stop responding. What’s going on?!

Filed under: internet dating

When dating online you may find yourself asking: Why did he stop responding? Did I scare her off? Did I say something wrong?

Photo by Helga Weber

These are some of the most popular questions I receive from readers, both men and women. They will often send me their email communications to try to help identify where things went wrong…or if they went wrong at all. I want to offer some advice to any readers out there who might have these same [...]

Filed under: dating advice

Photo by designedbymatty

Online dating is designed to be a safe environment for meeting that “potential” person you are looking for. Yet oftentimes when dating online people forget to look for the “Red Flags”. There are always red flags that we should be looking for in the first or second email.

Too many people do not listen to the warning signs or their intuition. This often leads to hardship, hurt feelings, financial loss, or worse. There are many obvious red flags [...]

Filed under: dating advice