Online Dating Guide & Blog

From time to time I see online dating safety advice offering this as a suggestion: bring a friend with you on a first date.

I understand the need to be safe but I really dislike this suggestion. Mostly because I had a woman bring a friend on a first date with me and it really hurt the odds of having another date (there wasn’t one). Admittedly, I found her approach as annoying as her actions…so I guess a full story is [...]

Filed under: personal experience

First date conversations are a tricky thing: we all realize how important they are but sometimes we still don’t prepare while other times we put so much emphasis on having “good” conversations we actually create problems for ourselves.

In one of my very first articles for this site, I had given tips for first date conversations based on what worked well for me. I wanted to touch on the points I made back then as I still see them as valuable. [...]

Filed under: dating advice

Photo by D Sharon Pruitt

I recently read an article AskMen.com that covered five mistakes men make early on that scare women away. I think this article is well worth reading regardless of how you are meeting women. I also wanted to offer my take in this area, but specifically for online dating.

Most of my thoughts revolve around one idea: not coming off as strange or the stalker-type. Appearing strange or appearing like someone who might stalk the woman is [...]

Filed under: dating advice

Photo by °Florian
In my article on writing first emails using online dating, I discuss what should and should not be in your emails. I wanted to expand on that topic to include a pattern I’ve seen recently: apologizing or making excuses when contacting other singles.

Apologizing in First Emails

For whatever reason, some people see apologizing as the preferred way to start an email. It will often begin something like “Sorry to bother you…” or “I’m sure you get lots of emails [...]

Filed under: dating advice

Have you had a bad date, where things went horribly, horribly wrong? If so, you might be able to win a $50 gift card and some other prizes over at Daily Dating Advice who are having a contest for the worst date story. From the site:

You have 2 weeks, starting now until 06/1/10, to submit your worst date story using the contact form accessible with the link below. In 2 weeks, our expert dating team will review all the stories [...]

Filed under: dating links

There are many mistakes that are made on first dates…far more than I will list here. However, I will cover the 10 mistakes that I saw from others while dating online, made myself while dating or have learned about by talking with other singles about online dating. If you are struggling to find second dates I would strongly recommend seriously reviewing this list.

1. Trying to Act Like Someone Else
Many people ask: How should I act on a first date? The [...]

Filed under: dating advice

I’ve looked at my fair share of online dating profiles and I wanted to talk about one of the bad habits I see in many profiles: the plea for contact. There are many examples of this; some good examples but honestly most of the time when I see someone trying to encourage communication it isn’t done in a good way. Here are some of the more common ways people will attempt this:

If you decide to contact me, I’m very flattered.
Please [...]

Filed under: dating profiles, online dating guide

What is a VIP email message? It stands for “Very Interested Person” and this is a new type of message that Match.com is testing at the time of this writing (right now only some users are currently able to use). You should see a “Use Your VIP Email” button when you’re writing an email if you’re in the group of users who have this feature enabled.

A VIP email has a few rules and features that make it significantly different than [...]

Filed under: dating advice, online dating guide

I found myself reading an article recently about professional profile writing and it discussed how Kate Houston, the owner of TrySweetTalk.com, is helping singles find success with well written dating profiles. I’ve worked with Kate some in the past and I think the examples on her site show exactly how good she is at what she does. Plus, at $80 (last I heard anyway – her prices may change) it’s a pretty good deal.

However, the article got me thinking about [...]

Filed under: dating profiles

I was recently talking to a woman who decided to end an online relationship after the first date because her date had complained for much of the dinner. This got me thinking about complaining in general and how as people we are so drawn to doing so. Even when this woman came to me to discuss this bad date, she was doing so to…well…complain!

Because as people we complain so often, I don’t see the activity in itself as a [...]

Filed under: dating advice

In my last post, I discussed ways to break your way into the conversation even if your date doesn’t ask you any questions. Today, I wanted to discuss this same issue but from the other side: remembering to share the conversation.

Sometimes people are simply too excited on a date and the result is that they talk about themselves the entire night. Another thing that happens with online dating is some people, particularly men, will research ways to keep the conversation [...]

Filed under: dating advice

A reader recently wrote in with this frustration: on dates he is able to get conversations going easily but finds most of the women he meets, while willing to answer his questions, ask no questions of their own. They often appear very interested in the conversation but are willing to allow it remain about them. He questioned whether these women, who often seem swept off their feet, are actually interested at all. His dates would also say things like “Gee, [...]

Filed under: dating advice