If you’re dating online then you have a lot of competition. There are millions of people out there and each one is competing for attention. So how do you make sure your soulmate shows up in your inbox? Take tips from people who know how to get noticed – advertisers. Treat your dating profile like an ad and you can stand out from the competition.

Target your ideal.
I came across the profile with the bold username, “Mr. Herpes”. I was floored. Then I read his dating profile and soon found myself admiring his marketing savvy. This man specifically wanted a partner who had herpes because he knew he’d be more free to enjoy intimacy. By making it clear right off the top what – specifically – he wanted in a partner, he did what advertisers call “targeting”. He attracted women with herpes and discouraged contact from those without herpes. Doing so was an efficient way to get exactly what he needed.

Appeal to your target group.
In advertising, “target group” refers to the group or type of people you want attract. For instance, if you want to attract a partner who loves the outdoors, post a picture of yourself shot in a fantastic spot outside. It will catch the eye of other people who enjoy the outdoors. If you love animals, take a picture with a pet. That will catch the eye of people who loves animals. Though your photo should always focus solely on you, adding a subtle visual clue will attract people specifically “targeted” to you.

Have something to say.
Cleverness is great, but it’s not enough. All advertising – including your own – needs substance. If you’re going to be clever, make sure it speaks volumes about you. I had a client who compared how she felt about her life to how she felt during summer break when she was a child. The metaphor was clever. It also said so much about her happiness and creativity that it had substance.

Conversely, I’ve read profiles that say nothing but “if you want to know something, ask”. That’s the equivalent of going to a party where everyone is exchanging conversation and all you’re doing is standing there, disengaged.

If you don’t write any content to pique someone’s interest, then you give no one anything to ask about. In addition, you’re making the other person do the work of culling information from you instead of being social enough to offer it. Lastly, you’re presuming that showing up on a profile is enough to generate interest. It’s not. There’s a lot of competition out there and you need to rely on more than looks.

If writing a profile and communicating is not for you, then hire a professional dating profile writer or simply don’t online date. It’s not for everyone.

Highlight your benefits.
Good advertisers always promote what makes them better than the competition. They passionately and persuasively tout what makes them worthwhile. Your profile, like a good ad, has to do the same. Figure out what makes you special and how someone’s life would improve with you in it. Don’t brag but don’t be reluctant to assert yourself and be confident about your attributes.

The unique selling point.
In advertising, there’s a term called Unique Selling Point (USP). All successful brands have a USP that they promote to give them an advantage over competitors. In online dating, you don’t need to focus on one unique point but you do need to focus on being unique overall.

As an exercise, scan a few dating sites and read some of the profiles. So many say the following: love to laugh, love laughing, love sunsets. These points, as well as “not into drama or head games”, are not unique. Doesn’t everyone love to laugh? Is anyone ever into head games? Avoid clichés and say something different at least as an opener.

If you do seem to like all the things that everyone else likes then say so in a unique way. For instance, if you love animals, say you love animals and accost every one. If you love sunsets, describe the most beautiful one you’ve seen. In other words, be specific so that everything you write makes “you” stand out.

Make sure your brand character is consistent.
A brand character is an overall personality. For a brand to be trustworthy and successful, it has to maintain a consistent character throughout all its communications. McDonald’s consistently offers big meals at great prices. BMW has always advertised performance and style. Apple’s simplicity is well established. By being consistent, brands instill confidence and trust because customers always know what they’re getting and what to expect.

Consistency is especially important when dating online because you’re trying to earn the trust strangers. If you claim that family and relatives are the most important people in your life then don’t say you’d relocate in a heartbeat for the right person. Don’t say you’re easy going then go on a rant about your pet peeves.

Though you show how multi-faceted you are, always keep your values and character consistent.

Keep it fresh.
Successful brands stay up to date and never let their packaging look tired. This is important in online dating too. Sometimes you need to stay on a site for several months until you find the right one. I even suggest that you post your profile on several sites. However, stay fresh. If the same people see the same photo and profile all the time and everywhere, you’ll begin to look tired and unwanted. So freshen it all up regularly. A dating profile on a site, like a product on a shelf, needs to be dusted off every once in awhile.

Spell check.
Most ads are proofread for spelling and grammar before being published. Your profile should be too. Seeing a spelling mistakes on a profile is as sloppy as walking out with a stain on your clothes.

Apply these advertising tips to your online dating profile and you’ll be marketing yourself like a pro. In no time, you could go from being one of many to being the one.

Kate Houston is President and Founder of trysweettalk.com, one of the only online dating profile writing services to leverage subtle, but highly effective, ad techniques so that dating profiles stand out and compete among the millions out there.

Related posts:

1. Gaffs Guys Make on Dating Profiles
2. How to Make Your Dating Profile Far More Interesting
3. A Room Full Of Male Scientists Agree…

Photo by helgasms!

Your Dating Profile

Your profile should reveal the core of who you are. Any area that you feel helps define who you are as a person should be included. However, many of us don’t stop there. We start to get into details that just aren’t necessary: discussing how our previous relationships ended, revealing in too great detail what we expect in a relationship, discussing marriage in excessive amounts or just going out of our way to reveal the smallest details about ourselves.

There are a few problems with revealing excessive amounts about yourself in your profile.

1. The first reason, and perhaps often overlooked reason, is the length of your profile. I’ve read profiles that reveal so much that you had better get comfortable if you plan on finishing it. Even when I’m just reviewing a single profile for someone, I sometimes have to be careful to avoid skimming their profile. If I’m logging onto a site to read just one profile and have trouble finishing the profile, how will other who are looking at dozens of profiles handle it?

2. People often make relationship decisions for bad reasons. They’ll refuse to date someone because they have the smallest detail in common with an ex or they will have unreasonable requirements of the people they date. For these people, who often mean well, the more you reveal about yourself the more they are likely to reject you for something that probably shouldn’t matter.
3. You want to avoid coming off as strange. Most of us, if we date online long enough, will run into a strange character or two. After you’ve been on a few dates like this, you begin to go out of your way to identify these potential bad dates as early as possible. What you don’t want to have happen is to have someone else label you as that guy or girl who should be avoided. The problem is you really can be perfectly normal and through revealing too much in your profile can come off as odd.
4. Leaving a little mystery about yourself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, being a little mysterious can even cause others to want to learn more about you.

So What Do I Include in My Dating Profile?!

Not sure what to include in your profile? If you can’t decide what should be in and what should be out, the rule I use is this: Is this something I could see myself talking about within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone? For example, I could definitely see myself discussing my job, my hobbies, my family, what I’m looking for in someone I date or other general areas like this. It is difficult for me to see myself talking the details of my favorite book, getting into philosophy in any way, discussing pulling video game all-nighters or other topics that really have no place being discussed when it comes to making a good first impression.

For anyone still unsure, I would recommend reviewing my step-by-step profile creation guide which walks you through a process that I believe will help you create a profile that contains just enough information.

Related posts:

1. A Profile Review
2. If I Am Shy, Should I Mention It In My Online Dating Profile?
3. The Right Way to Encourage Contact in Your Dating Profile

• If you decide to contact me, I’m very flattered.
• Please contact me if you would like to chat.
• I hope you decide to send me an email!

There are a few reasons this approach is a bad idea.

Reason 1: You Don’t Want to Appear Desperate
You might not be desperate but often your words will tell another story. Perhaps the wrong story but they still say something. I talk about this in my post Does You Online Dating Profile Say What You Think It Does? In some cases, asking (or even begging) people to contact you might not hurt your profile. However, remember that you are always fighting the bad impressions the people who have come before you have created. If a woman has had to deal with a weird guy or three, she’s going to be on the lookout for anything out of place. If a man earned himself an online stalker he’s going to start taking the same precautions. Having dated online actively, my experience has shown that there are far more normal people than weird. That said, it only takes one bad experience to open our eyes to what could happen on these online dates. After that point, I can guarantee you’ll be under the microscope.

Reason 2: People Know How Online Dating Works
You don’t need to explain to people how to communicate with you. Everyone already knows. The idea that someone looked at your profile, thought you were great and wanted to contact you but just couldn’t figure out how is not happening. “But what if they are nervous about contacting me or shy?” First, simply stating that you invite emails isn’t going to give nervous person courage. Everyone is inviting contact by the virtue of having a dating profile. Second, you can’t write your profile for the minority of people at the risk of driving away the majority. In other words, do everything you can to remove anything questionable from your profile. Including innocent statements that someone else might see as desperation.

Reason 3: Are You Selecting or Being Selected?
A cousin of desperation is low self-esteem. When you word your plea for contact the wrong way you might be telling your potential dates: “I’ll take anyone!” Again, I’m not saying that you have low self-esteem by asking for contact but I would suggest that you might give that impression. Remember: you need to see online dating as an opportunity for you to find what you’re looking for. Your goal should not be to provide someone else everything they are looking for. Not only that, giving the impression that you’ll settle for anyone in unattractive. No one wants to be that “special anyone”, they want to be that “special someone”.

Reason 4: You Don’t Need to Prove that You’re Nice
Some people want to include something nice or encouraging in their profile and see including a statement like “I hope you decide to contact me!” as the way to do it. Yes, that is a nice statement but as I’ve shown above it may do more harm than good. Just as you don’t need to prove that you’re funny in your profile, you also don’t need to prove that you’re nice.

A Better Way To Encourage Contact

I believe there are two better approaches to ending your profile. First, not saying anything at all about contacting each other is totally fine. That’s probably the easiest approach as well. As I’ve said in my online dating guide, just coming off as normal can go a long way for your dating profile. Avoiding appearances of desperation or low-self esteem will improve your odds at being contacted.

The second method is more direct and while like the examples at the beginning of this post there is a significant difference. At the end of your profile, describe the type of man or woman you are looking for. After that, a comment stating that a person who fits the bill should be encouraged to contact you is fine. Here’s an example:

The woman I’d like to meet loves to travel. She’s excited to try something new and appreciates my quirkiness. She loves learning and excited to share her experiences with the man in her life. If this sounds like you, feel free to contact me.

But why would this work so much better? Is it really that much different? I think so. In this example, there can be no confusion over desperation or low self-esteem. The point is clear: I’m looking for particulars in the person I date. If that sounds like you, we should talk. If not, I wish you the best of luck. There’s no desperation. There’s no low self-esteem. Not only is it a strong way to encourage contact it actually strengthens your profile as you’re defining some things you’re looking for. Not only will you encourage contact, you’ll encourage contact from those who fit what you’re looking for.

Related posts:

1. Why Do Men Ignore What I Require in My Dating Profile?
2. If I Am Shy, Should I Mention It In My Online Dating Profile?
3. What Should I Include in My Dating Profile?

First, you need to keep in mind that your user name is not going to be very important in the grand scheme of things. Because of that, please don’t over-think this! No one is going to pick or reject you based on your user id and I personally can’t remember any user ids that have really jumped out at me. Generally speaking, you should make your user id whatever you want it to be. That said, I would say there are a few rules on what you shouldn’t make your user id.

Second, you should not reveal too much about yourself with it as others will see it. As an example, your first and last name or your home address would be bad ideas for your user name. Not that most people are going to use their home address but some people might enter their full name…make sure that person isn’t you.

Next, I would recommend against using your standard user id such as the id you use for your personal email account. Again, this is about protecting your identity and you would be amazed at what you can find with just an email address or a user id. Check out Pipl to see exactly what I mean. The amount of data we post online about ourselves these days makes taking some extra caution worth the effort.

Finally, if you’re a woman and you want to insert words like “sexxxy” into your user id that’s fine but be aware some men do spam women on online dating service. I’m not claiming it will happen but you might be inviting more of this type of contact with a name like this. It’s a pretty small risk and more of a minor annoyance than anything else but keep it in mind.

Aside from those issues, you shouldn’t be worried about your user id. A hobby or an emotion or a nickname all work fine, although you may need to add a random number since many user names will already be taken. If you just can’t think of anything you can use a name generator (see the Online Handle Generator on this page). Just use good judgement! When I tested out the name generator the first one it gave me was “QuicklyBiting” which probably isn’t the best profile name!

Related posts:

1. Why Haven’t Free Dating Services Beaten the Pay Services?
2. Finding Good Deals for Online Dating Services
3. Online Dating Services with a Different Approach

I found myself reading an article recently about professional profile writing and it discussed how Kate Houston, the owner of TrySweetTalk.com, is helping singles find success with well written dating profiles. I’ve worked with Kate some in the past and I think the examples on her site show exactly how good she is at what she does. Plus, at $80 (last I heard anyway – her prices may change) it’s a pretty good deal.

However, the article got me thinking about how dating profiles really are mostly marketing. Your job when writing your profile is to make sure you stick out more than your competition. The goal is to get more “customers”, in this case other singles interested in dating you. From my own experience I can say that poor personal marketing is a great way to receive few “customers”.

As an example of how marketing plays such an important role, Kate’s background is not in relationship advice but rather marketing for large drug companies. Yet when she applies her skill to the online dating arena she’s able to create some of the most interesting profiles around, turning the mundane into the interesting.

Still, not all of us can afford to spend money to spruce up our dating profile. Many of us can’t even afford to pay for a dating service and find ourselves settling for the free ones. For the people who find themselves in this situation, I’m going to recommend trying something unconventional: if you have a friend or acquaintance that you trusts who works in marketing try asking them to rewrite your profile. Whether they help market websites or soft drinks, chances are they’re going to have the skill-set to help you better “sell” yourself. When you ask them, be specific: tell them that you want them to approach your profile from the perspective of a marketing professional, not from the perspective of your friend. These friends have a particular skill-set and your friendship shouldn’t get in the way of them helping you create the best profile possible.

For those who do have friends in marketing don’t blow this off as ridiculous advice – it is my opinion that you’re very lucky to be in such a position. Check out the example profiles and then consider this: Kate wrote those profiles without even knowing the person. If she can accomplish that after a few conversations what could a close friend accomplish? I think more than you might think.

For those out there who can’t afford (or don’t want to pay for) a professionally written profile and who also don’t have any friends in marketing, I think the next best option is asking a close friend to review your profile. I was willing to do this when I was dating online and not only were my friends able to help but it showed how much they cared for me with the interest they took in my dating success.

Be sure to read the entire article mentioned above: Kate gives some great general tips for writing a good profile on the second page of the article.

Related posts:

1. Getting a Professionally Written Online Dating Profile
2. Why are People Rejected by eHarmony?
3. Worth A Thousand Words? How about $150?

I see this question come up from time to time. The first question I always find myself asking is: Why? Why would you want to contact someone who had nothing interesting in her profile? I already know the answer as it’s not too hard to figure out: she’s attractive. Even though I wonder at contacting someone who you don’t find interesting, I will still try to answer this to the best of my ability.

First is her profile missing details or do you simply not find what she discusses interesting?

For the Profile Lacking Any Details
For the woman who lists nothing of substance in her profile but does upload attractive photos of herself, I can’t help but wonder if this is a woman who is willing to lean solely on her attractiveness to find dates. I think for the purposes of contacting a woman with this type of profile, you very well may be able to get by with a compliment and an invitation to have a drink. If this is how she meets men and is comfortable with it, I see no reason for you to break that mold. A simple “You look beautiful in your photos. Would you like to have coffee/beer sometime.” would be fine. Be aware that people who perpetrate online dating scams will often use attractive women as bait to take advantage of men so look at these lopsided profiles with some skepticism.

For the Profile You Have Nothing In Common With
I’m aware of the “opposites attract” idea but if you have nothing in common with a woman but are motivated by her attractiveness, I can’t help but feel that you would be wasting her time (and yours in the long run). If you are motivated solely on attractiveness, my advice is to find another attractive woman who you do have something in common with. Just because you don’t feel she has anything interesting in her profile doesn’t make her uninteresting! It just makes her a bad match for you. The only other option is to either fake an interest or hope that your looks are enough to have her return interest.

Related posts:

1. How to Make Your Dating Profile Far More Interesting
2. My Dating Profile Gets Lots of Views But I Get No Emails
3. Should a Woman Initiate the Emails in Online Dating?

What Makes a Bad Online Dating Picture

A bad photo is any picture that doesn’t properly portray who you are. Sometimes this is done on accident and others times it’s done on purpose. In the example above, it was an accident: in her profile she repeatedly discussed how happy she was and the fun she likes to have. She was honest when describing herself but her photos told a different story. Her photos said “I’m a very serious person”.

As I discussed recently, studies have shown that humans are able to pick up on character traits just by viewing a person’s photo. It turns out that we humans are not just able to pick out these traits, we’re very good at do so. So if your photo is suggesting something about you, intentionally or otherwise, people are going to see that and they’re going to believe it. In many cases, people are going to believe what your photos say even when your profile text says otherwise. What your pictures reveal about you may not be true but that doesn’t matter, the damage has been done.

Tips on Good Dating Photos

• SMILE! Unless you’re an angry, grumpy person you need to smile. Let’s take my very first online dating profile photo (where I didn’t smile) and compare it to the photo I used for my About page of this site (where I did):
  Now I’m not arguing that women are going to be beating down my door based on either photo but the second one is far more honest and, I think, inviting. On a side note, my wife says she likes the one where I look serious more but I think that’s just because she knows me. When I was using the first photo while dating I repeatedly had women comment on my “looking angry”.
  
  
• You need to be honest. If you’re using a photo that’s 10 years old, you’re not being as honest as you should be. My rule is that no photo you use should be older than a year, maybe two. If you try to photograph yourself from 500 different angles to get just the right look, you should question your motivation. When you meet your date, if you’ve lied (however “slightly”), the truth is going to be revealed. They may even love the way you look but hate that you started the relationship off with a lie. I had a woman deceive me once. On our date, instead of concentrating on learning about her, I was distracted by the thought that she had lied to me. From my point of view, she was going to have to be an amazing woman to get past the first hurdle she had created for herself. She was a nice lady, but there was no second date.
  
  
• Avoid including kids or young family members. It’s fine to love your kids and to want to let people know that they are an important part of your life. Sadly, we live in a world where doing this isn’t always a good idea. If you want to stress your relationship with your children, do so in your profile text instead of your photos.
  
  
• Make sure your main photo has a clear shot of your face. Many dating services will automatically zoom in on your face of whatever photo you select for your main picture. It’s often best to pick a headshot so you can ensure the look and quality of the photo is what you expect.
  
  
• Don’t be afraid to have fun with your secondary photos! A night out with friends, photos of your favorite vacation, your dog dressed up for Halloween…anything to help show what makes you the person you are.
  
  
• You can have a photo taken professionally although it can get expensive. If you’re thinking about doing this I would recommend that you check out Craigslist under Creative Services. Many wedding photographers start out on Craigslist and offer very good prices. They will often be open to doing other photography just for the experience. I’m not suggesting you can always get a professional profile photo for free but you might be able to get it for a steal.

Related posts:

1. Online Dating Success Story: Post-Wedding Thoughts
2. Improve Profile Views with your Heading
3. Gaffs Guys Make on Dating Profiles

This is a question shy men often ask due to the dilemma of wanting to be as honest as possible when dating online but, at the same time, not wanting to hurt their chances with women who may reject a man who mentions this trait. I believe the answer to this question really depends on the severity of the shyness. Due to this, I’ll discuss different degrees of shyness and then give my opinion on what should be included in the dating profile given the degree of shyness.

Note that this advice is intended for men. There are social rules that men are expected to follow that makes being a shy man detrimental whereas being a shy woman, even to a great degree, has little or no affect on the chances for that woman to date or marry (see Dr. Gilmartin’s comments of this for more details). If you’re a shy woman and you want to list being so in your dating profile, that’s fine. If you don’t want to list being shy, that’s fine too. Any woman who is worried that her shyness is going to ruin her online dating chances, there’s good news: it’s very unlikely it will affect your dating at all. This is especially true with the growth of online dating which allows a shy woman to enter the dating scene actively while remaining comfortable.

Degrees of Shyness and Your Online Dating Profile

Introversion
Technically, introversion isn’t shyness. An introverted person will enjoy being alone and will intentionally avoid social situations. This is significantly different from a shy person because someone shy wants to be in social situations but their shyness, to different degrees, inhibits or prevents from pursuing these social activities.

An introverted person may have excellent social skills but prefers not to use them. This type of person would prefer to watch a movie at home instead of going to the bar. They would rather have a few friends over instead of throwing a party. If you’re intentionally making a choice to avoid social situations with no regret, you’re introverted as opposed to shy. I see no reason to go out of your way to explicitly point out introversion in your dating profile. However, you’ll be doing yourself a favor if you are honest and reveal that you prefer small gatherings over large ones or that you value one-on-one quiet time over the social scene.

I see no reason to make an issue of introversion in your dating profile, just as I see no reason for an out-going person to explicitly say “I’m extroverted” in their profile. There are better ways to make this point, most often by simply describing what you enjoy and dislike.

Mild Shyness
Mild shyness occurs around new people and situations and everyone experiences this in some fashion. If your shyness is limited to things like meeting new people, going on a first date, or entering a new situation, then you’re not technically shy. You’re just experiencing what we all feel in new situations. No need to list shyness if this sounds like you. If you experience severe feelings of shyness when meeting people and then it goes away, you could mention in your profile that you’re “shy at first”. You see this frequently in online dating profiles.

Moderate Shyness
The moderately shy person is one who experiences their shyness daily but who is able to overcome it to varying degrees. Moderately shy people will frequently or always experience anxiety when entering social situations. The range of this anxiety will vary from person to person as will the degree that the shyness affects the person’s life. Some people may be able to internalize this shyness to the point where other people don’t even realize they struggle with it. Others will find their shyness affecting their lives more visibly. For example, when it causes a person to avoid a specific social situation even though they desperately want to participate.

If you are a moderately shy person, you will need to evaluate how much this anxiety affects your life. If you are able to overcome your shyness most of the time, I don’t think that you need to explicitly state that you’re shy in your dating profile. However, you will want to emphasize the things you are comfortable with when dating. If you find your shyness ruling your decisions more than half of the time, I believe you should explicitly state that you are shy in your profile. At this point, it is affecting your life enough that revealing this early will be beneficial for everyone involved.

Painfully Shy
Painfully shy refers to someone with Social Anxiety Disorder. People with Social Anxiety Disorder will be unable to fully function in many areas of life. Their symptoms can be severe and can include panic attacks, trembling or excessive sweating. These symptoms can be brought on by many social situations, from having a conversation with someone to entering a room with many people in it to going on a first date. The painfully shy person will find that this anxiety rules their life. Those who suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder will often avoid social situations for long periods of time which in turn can increase the severity of their shyness. If your shyness has been diagnosed as Social Anxiety Disorder or if your shyness rules your life, then you must list it in your profile.

Image by KellyB.

If you are a man who is comfortable in all areas of life and social interaction except when dealing with women you are attracted to, then you’re probably dealing with love-shyness. To be clear, if you get nervous around a woman you’re attracted to that’s not called shy, it’s called normal. It’s when your feelings go far beyond nervousness, to point of extreme anxiety, that love-shyness enters the picture.

The good news here is that online dating actually solves many of the problems for the love-shy man by providing them with a formal situation (which they are more comfortable with) to ask the woman on a date. I believe that I experienced love-shyness to some degree. I hadn’t dated for over 4 years when I started dating online and when I had dated previously I was still a teenager. I had dated actively in my late teen years but I wouldn’t say I had any deep relationship connections with the girls I dated. When I started dating online, I was extremely stressed that I wouldn’t know how to interact with adult women and I felt a lot of anxiety regarding this. The good news is that online dating made asking women out easy. I slowly realized that adult women weren’t all that different from the teenage women I had dated (no offense here ladies, just saying) and within six months any sign of love-shyness had totally disappeared. I was even asking women out at parties and the bar.

If you’re a love-shy man, I wouldn’t suggest going out of your way to list this in your profile. If you’re like me, once you get a few dates under your belt and realize that things are going to be fine, I think you’ll find it’s no longer an issue. Online dating provides a very formal way to find dates which make guys with this trait far more comfortable. If now having read this, you realize you’re love-shy, don’t worry about it! Things really will work out fine with some persistence.

Image by hyperscholar

My Experiences Dating Online As a Shy Man

I am quite the mixed bag of shyness traits. I’m definitely introverted as I can skip social interactions happily…I actually find too much social activity very draining. I also experience some “moderate shyness” when I am in loud or crowded places and I suffer from anxiety after a long enough time period. And then I also dealt with being “love-shy” for the first few months of my online dating. Even with my collection of shy traits, I never listed shyness in my dating profile and if I’m honest I rarely experienced it after getting past the “mild shyness” period of the dates.

If you’re shy and struggling to get going with online dating, I think you would find my online dating guide helpful. If you’re not interested in reading all of that I would recommend my article on the importance of comfort.

Finally, if or when you list that you are shy don’t let it rule your profile. Be sure to include something like “I’m a shy man but I enjoy spending time doing x and y and z with those I care for.” Being shy is like any other trait: it may be a part of who you are but it doesn’t define

Related posts:

1. A Profile Review
2. Getting a Professionally Written Online Dating Profile
3. How to Make Your Dating Profile Far More Interesting

Still, is there a situation where having a professionally written profile is worth it? I think there are some cases where this does make sense. As an example, imagine that I write a horrible online dating profile. It’s so bad it actually hurts my chances when women view it. I could pay for an online dating service with this bad profile and spend hundreds of dollars. Let’s assume a professionally written profile would have led me to some dating success within six month. In this case, even though a professionally written dating profile would cost me money, it would save me far more money than it costs since I would have paid for the online dating service half as long.

That said, is a well written dating profile really that different from the run-of-the-mill profile? Would it really cause someone to find someone special that much faster? I would recommend that you take a look at some examples over at TrySweetTalk.com – I’ll let you judge for yourself.

While I did not have my profile professionally written when I was dating online, I can see the value in it. If you find yourself struggling to differentiate yourself, and especially if you’re struggling to get contact even though your profile is getting views, it’s is worth considering.

Related posts:

1. How to Make Your Dating Profile Far More Interesting
2. If I Am Shy, Should I Mention It In My Online Dating Profile?
3. Online Dating: The Business of People Marketing

1. Software Developer Tired of the Singleton Pattern
I think this one is my favorite that I’ve thought of since it can be understood even if you’re not familiar with development patterns.

2. SELECT * FROM OkCupid WHERE Girl = ‘Great’;
I suppose the more romantic amoung us could add a LIMIT 1 (or TOP 1 for those Microsoft DBAs). Hopefully it goes without saying that OkCupid would be replaced with your service of choice!

3. C++ Girl Looking for A++ Guy
This one’s not that great for non-developers since you don’t want to suggest you’re a ‘C’ level person looking for an ‘A’ level partner!

4. Date GreatTime = new Date(WithMe);
For those confident individuals among us.

5. DBA Looking for Relationship Normalization
Aren’t we all looking for a little normalization in our relationships?

6. if (single) { profile.contactme! }
Perhaps this invitation is a little too open! You could always make your condition a little more strict. If you hate Ruby you can always drop the bang. Obviously Ruby works nicely here.

7. if greatGuy goto myProfile
I know, I know…using a goto is such a bad practice!

8. require ‘date’
This one’s about as simple as they get. More ruby syntax here (C#’s ‘using’ and Java’s ‘import’ just don’t work as well!)

9. Web Developer with a Great Sense of Style(sheets)
Geeky yet playful.

10. Open Beta – Looking for Some Good Testers
I don’t really like this one but I couldn’t stop at 9!

Think you can do better than this? Feel free to share it here.

Related posts:

1. A Profile Review
2. The Right Way to Encourage Contact in Your Dating Profile
3. What Should I Include in My Dating Profile?