Online Dating Blog

As many reader’s here know, I met my wife using the dating service Match.com. We’ve been married for 5 years now and are entering the next phase of our family: expecting our first child.

We decided to have some fun with finding out the sex of our baby by having a gender reveal party. If you’ve not heard of this it goes something like this:

1. My wife and I went to the doctor’s office and had a sonogram done that reveals the sex. However, the technician didn’t tell us the sex but instead wrote it down and put the paper in an envelope.
2. We then took the envelope to our bakery and they bake a cake. The sex of the baby will determine the color of the batter: blue for boy, pink for girl.
3. Next, we bring the cake home and then throw a party. With everyone together, we cut the cake open and everyone finds out the sex of the baby at the same moment.

It was a lot of fun although I was very tempted to peak the morning of the party (but didn’t). Plus, when we did the actual cutting of the cake it was more of a “tearing into it” sort of approach than the normal cake cutting ceremony! So here were the results of our party:

It’s a boy!

I would also warn anyone who decided to try this to not trust your baker! Our baker gave us the sealed envelope back with pink marks all over it so we were inclined to believe “girl” but now I’m inclined to believe that my baker found it amusing to mess with our heads!

Negative Perceptions of Online Dating

So this is a very exciting time for my family and I can’t help but contrast it against some of the comments I still get in regards to online dating. Even recently on this site people have made comments like: “That’s good advice. Luckily, I never had to use online dating and…”. I hear this sort of thing from time to time when having conversations and through email as well.

I’m not sure I understand this idea. It’s like saying, “It’s wonderful you have an amazing marriage but it really is a shame how the two of you met”. Not only has online dating led me to a great marriage, but now I’m having a son because I decided to give it a try. To be fair, I think many people intend to say, “Online dating sounds hard. I’m glad I was able to find a relationship without it”. I do understand that concept but I still don’t think the people saying that fully understand the benefits I saw having used online dating.

To put it another way: Is the randomness of old-school dating really that much better than taking six months or a year to find the qualities you want in a partner? Sure, online dating might be harder or at times more frustrating but I also suspect that the results are often better. Traditional dating seems to encourage randomness and, at a certain age, a degree of settling and acceptance. Obviously I’m not against traditional dating: it’s done us good for a very long time. I just struggle to wrap my mind around the idea that avoiding online dating would have been a good thing.

If it weren’t for online dating, I can’t imagine I would have met anywhere near the number of women I did with it. I suspect if my opportunities were few and far between (and they would have been) that I would have been inclined to settle for a relationship where the most important quality the woman could have was simply her ability to help me avoid being alone. Not the best way to pick someone to spend your life with.

In other words, at some point with traditional dating, it seems that many of us are willing to accept things we don’t like simply so we can be in a relationship. With online dating, this was never a consideration! Having a new first date every week for months at a time allowed me to make decisions based on what I was looking for, not based on what I thought the likelihood was that I’d have another date in the next six months. Online dating gave me hope and made dating fun (well…eventually. There was a long period of frustration and confusion). What others see as negative process, I now see as an extremely positive one!

Lucky to Have Used Online Dating

So let me say this: I’m lucky that I did try online dating. Perhaps blessed is a better word. Either way, I’m glad I didn’t see myself as above it and I’m fortunate that it was available for me.

Maybe you’ve not tried online dating but have thought about it. I’d encourage you to give it a try. Yes, there are a lot of hassles with online dating. It’s not nearly as easy as it appears. And yeah, you’ll probably run into a few strange people. However, most good things in life require some work and this is one of them. The results can be wonderful and, in my experience, are worth the effort.

Maybe you are trying online dating but are discouraged by comments like “lucky to have not used online dating” or maybe you’re just embarrassed and want to avoid having other people find out. These are just more areas that make online dating a bit harder but again I think in the long run you’ll benefit from your decision. So be encouraged by results like mine and ignore the negative comments from people who may not fully understand your goals.