Online Dating Guide & Blog

Some time ago, a friend of mine shared with me an approach to have success using the Match.com Instant Messenger. He didn’t come up with the approach himself but stated that the guy he knew who was doing this had a lot of success with it.

I have never used this approach but it sounded interesting to me and I wanted to share it here. If you find yourself tiring of the traditional email a woman, wait,
email a woman, wait approach then this might be something worth giving a try.

Match Instant Messenger: The Gateway Communication

So basically the approach goes something like this: use the instant messenger to move to a more personalized form of communication more quickly. In this case, this is the specific approach he took:

1. First, he would find a woman he was interested in who was currently online
2. Next he would send her an instant message. My friend said sometimes he would use email instead of IM but he still stuck with the rule of only contacting women that were currently online.
3. He would then get the conversation started and try to allow the conversation to let them get a good feel for one another.
   
4. When he had to go, he would explain that he prefers texting over being tied to the computer and would give her his cell number. He then encouraged her to send him a text if she’d like to talk more.
5. At this point, he had a better line of communication with the woman and found that he was meeting more women than with his previous approach.

Note: An alternative to step four is to suggest you become Facebook friends. My friend has been using this approach instead of text messages and says he’s having success with the approach. The point isn’t so much about texting or Facebook as it is about move the communication to a more convenient and friendly arena.

An Approach with Some Risk
Obviously, to take this approach you need to be comfortable with giving someone your cell number after a short amount of conversation. The worst case scenario here isn’t all that bad but still…getting a bunch of text messages from someone you’re no longer interested in isn’t exactly desirable!

Again, I never used this approach myself but I can see how it could be effective. I think this is especially true for those younger generations who see texting as their primary form of communication and have no reservations about exchanging their number.

What about you? Have you had any success with an approach like this? Or is this an approach that you think introduces more risk than you’d like to take? I’d be interested to see what others think of this approach!