10 Reasons You Should Consider Dating a Geek

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You may find yourself dating online when you receive contact from someone you might label as a “geek”. Now, before you write this person off as not worth dating I think you should consider what geeks bring to a relationship. As I’ll be discussing in this article, while geeks fail to bring the social status important to many people, what they offer in replace of that makes them well worth your consideration.

None of the reasons I will be discussing are universally true. However, as a geek with many friends who would classify themselves the same way, I can say that these reasons hold true most of the time. Sure, you will find a geek who does not enjoy his work or who isn’t as intelligent. There will always be exceptions but generally speaking I believe all of these reasons to hold some truth.

Also, as you will see most of the reasons for dating a geek in some way come back to reason #1 and reason #2. I think the first two reasons for dating a geek are the foundation that our geeky goodness is built upon.

1. Geeks Are Intelligent
First off, geeks are intelligent. I know, this may not seem that important but as I discuss other benefits it will become clear how this factors in to many different ways. Obviously intelligence is a good thing on its own but there are additional benefits it brings along with it.

2. Geeks Appreciate their Relationships
Geeks really do appreciate the people they are in a relationship with. Most often, geeks have not been dating dozens of different people and we have not become desensitized to what a relationship means. We recognize the importance of having someone special in our life and are much less likely to take them for granted.

3. Geeks Are Less Likely to Cheat
Next, geeks are less likely to cheat on you. Well, actually, it is intelligent men that are less likely to cheat but geeky men almost always fall into this category. From the article:

The modern world no longer confers such an evolutionary advantage to men who have several sexual partners – but it is only intelligent men are able to shed the psychological baggage of their species and adopt new modes of behavior

Again, I think we appreciate our relationships far more and our analytical mind also helps us recognize that things won’t always be easy in a relationship; we realize relationships take hard work. Attitudes like this help strengthen a relationship.

4. Geeks Are Successful
Many geeks make a great living. This is often because we are able to earn a living pursuing something we have a passion for. This makes learning and excelling in our particular area much easier. Again, the whole intelligence thing doesn’t hurt. Additionally, our commitment (occasionally obsession) with our trade increases our skills and thus increases our success…and often our paycheck. This character attribute causes geeks to be outliers which has been tied to some of the most successful people in the world today.

5. Geeks Are Happy with Their Work
Geeks are generally happy with how they earn a living. This is closely related to the previous reason in that we seek out whatever we have a passion for. This means we are bringing home much less stress and anxiety which means our relationships are not suffering in that way. More than a few relationships have found themselves under the strain of a bad job and while it can happen to anyone geeks are less likely to bring that to a relationship.

6. Geeks Don’t Play Games (Well…Sort Of)
Geeks don’t play mind games. If we like you, we’ll call when we say we will. Many geeks are unwilling to try mind-games because of having a straight-forward nature. Other times, the fact that we can struggle socially creates a situation where we are unable to appreciate the supposed benefits of these mind-games. I hated mind games when dating and I can’t think of a single geeky friend who ever tried this sort of thing. However, it is worth mentioning that dating a geek does increase your risk of encountering other types of games…like World of Warcraft, Halo, God of War, and so on. However, as far as vices go, it could be a lot worse.


Photo by Jez`

7. Geeks Are More Attentive
Geeks are much more…attentive in bed, at least according to one study. This study found that 82% of male IT workers polled said they considered their partner’s sexual needs above their own, where only 41% of gym and fitness workers felt the same. Again, the fact that geeks appreciate their relationships comes in to play here.

8. Geeks Are Open-Minded and Accepting
Geeks have been judged their whole lives for liking what they like or for pursuing the hobbies that interest them. Generally, we’re very different and many times in our lives we have been reminded of this in less than pleasant ways. While this has its obvious down-sides, it has its benefits too. Ever heard the term “Experience breeds compassion”? Well, we have the experience and we are very open-minded and accepting of differences in others. We don’t care what strange pass-time you have or if your style is eclectic: we will accept you for who you are. Often we don’t just accept uniqueness but actually enjoy it.

9. Dating Geeks Is Becoming More…Fashionable?
Maybe fashionable is too strong a word but it is definitely more acceptable. This addresses one of the biggest problems dating a geek presented over the last few decades: what will your friends think?! Granted, we’re still geeks but the idea of dating one is becoming more popular. Again, your friends are not likely to be “impressed” but acceptance is becoming the norm. Aside from recognizing happening in every day life, there are also studies that are starting to back this up.

10. Geeks Provide In-Home Technical Support
My wife takes advantage of this in a major way. The thing is, as a geek I don’t even mind. I actually like helping people (within reason). It is very common for me to find myself on a computer when visiting family or friends but I believe by-in-large we geeks enjoy this. Now not every geek will know how to address every issue but that’s another great thing: if we can’t fix it chances are good that we have a friend who can.


So if you are on the fence about dating that geek, keep all the factors in mind. I won’t deny that we tend to be lacking in some areas but I think we make up for it in the end!

 

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About the Author:

Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.

Comments

  1. Brenda  October 24, 2010

    I would like to echo what you have said in this article about dating a Geek.

    I have just recently had contact from a guy whom I would label as a Geek on an online dating site, at first glance he seemed sweet and ok looking and not the typical guy I would be interested in.
    His approach was very sweet, I had been rejected a couple of times by the hunky guys I would normally gravitate towards on the site and it was nice to have someone who is not revolting show interested in me.
    At first I didn’t pay attention to his interests but as we got chatting, I realised he was quite bright and was interested in all things Geeky plus he is a software programmer with a Masters Degree.
    In his profile he sounded very vulnerable in a way that is not common amongst men, almost needy. I also got the feeling he was bitter about his ex. Negative aside, I was very drawn to his profile, his values and what he is looking for in a partner.
    I am divorced, just turned 40 althou I dont look a day over 35, I feel like my options are running out and need stability, someone to love me unconditionally who wont cheat on me.
    However within 24hrs we got into an argument about the fact that I discovered he was still logged on to the dating site we met on after we had promised we wont look for others while we get to know each other. I was there to disable my profile as agreed.
    I have since read up on Geeks, their personality and traits and think I might have over reacted due to my lack of trust in men in general caused by my cheating exhusband. He assures me he was on the site for other reasons not dating, for example he has friends on the site and he is on there everyday.
    I did also notice that he can be a jerk when confronted or if he doesnt get what he wants, in the way he reacts. I want to give the relationship a chance but I am not sure if I will have another chance after our argument.

  2. b  June 28, 2011

    I think geeks are the most overlooked types of guy out there. Some are very successful and most are looking for long-term monogamous relationship, these are all huge pluses. The only drawback is most are so shy they dont ask women out. Im very traditional and think guys should make the first move, so the geeks that Im open to dating are often too shy, or they often convince themselves that women dont like them. I think its the lifetime of being placed as the guy friend or rejection. Also, I dont see many geeks doing online dating so the pool to chose from is so limited =(