Match.com Winks and Women: How to Use and Respond
Recently I’ve received quite a few questions from women on winks so I wanted to take the time to answer a few of those questions here. I’ve discussed my thoughts on winks in great detail but I wanted to cover these specific questions as well. I would recommend you read that article first as I cover the dynamics of winking in detail there. On to the questions:
Should I Wink at a Guy I Find Attractive?
My opinion on this one is simple: absolutely. I believe that women should also feel free to write emails as well but I recommend you stay within your comfort zone. If that means winking, then that’s what you should do.
Do Guys Like Winks on Match
I’ve never heard of a man who doesn’t like that a woman would flirt with him, and that includes online dating. Keep in mind that just because men like receiving winks it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to want to go on a date with you. You have to take a chance with online dating and as a woman if you want to contact a man but aren’t sure you want to write an email a wink is 100% appropriate.
How Should I Respond to a Guy’s Wink on Match?
My advice to men is that they not wink at women and that they should be writing emails. Men who wink first may be shy, timid, or they may just not understand how online dating works. As long as you’re okay with any of those possibilities, I would recommend you wink back and allow him the opportunity to email you. If he’s contacting you, I think the man should drive the conversation so I recommend giving him the chance to do just that. An exception to this is if you’re an assertive woman who doesn’t mind taking control. In that case, you should do whatever you want. I suspect not too many women of that temperament are asking this question in the first place, though.
Brad is a happily married man that found great success (and his wife!) using online dating. He now shares his thoughts and experiences, on this site and in his free online dating guide, to assist others in finding success. 
You need to fix the links on this page; just wanted to mention that.
Thanks Moeen – I appreciate the heads-up on that. I posted the wrong revision!
You need to fix the links on this page; just wanted to mention that.
Thanks Moeen – I really appreciate the heads-up on that. I posted the wrong revision!
I have been on match for about 2plus weeks. I have been viewed about 2,400 times by over 1,000 members. I have received over 100 emails and about 100 winks. I did not find a date from the bunch. So my questions:
1- Is that normal or am I being too selective?
(my reasons so far – 1- Religion mainly has been the deal breaker and 2- also some lied about their place of residence They claimed to live in my area while they are in another state or upstate NY. It’s not a big deal but I do not like the fact that or someone would like about something that basic and simple
3- some are in a major hurry to start phone chat…etc)
2- what am I to do with all the winks?
Durga, here are my thoughts:
1. You probably are being too selective if out 100 guys there wasn’t a single person you would be willing to meet. Just meet them for coffee shouldn’t be require the perfect match in my opinion (and you might be surprised by what you find). You might want to be a bit more open to taking chances with those guys.
2. I’m not really sure about the lying about where they live…I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying. Did their profile say they wanted to date someone within 30 miles of where they live but they contacted you even though you are farther away? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t really look at that as lying.
3. I think a desire to talk on the phone or meet quickly is a good thing from the perspective of trying to find a great match (as I discuss in my guide). I can hardly complain about this approach when it was mine!
4. As mentioned in the article above, with the winks I would just wink back and put the ball back in their court.
Hope it helps!
What does it mean when a man says in an e mail “I d like to get to know you better”.(wink,wink)?
Does he actually say “wink, wink” in the email? Could be sexual innuendo or it could be innocent but it that’s all he is sending, I’d recommend forgetting about him until he writes you a more compelling message.