Comments on: Is Online Dating Worth It?

By: Rachel

Rachel — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 18:58:56 +0000

Internet dating is a waste of money because:
you don’t see if you have chemistry with someone, you email back and forth and you eventually meet up and are disappointed.
if you go speed dating you generally find guys who will buy you drinks and you’ll be able to chat to guys directly instead of waiting to meet up with some-one online.
unless you have a picture that is smily and/or sexy you won’t get many profile views as guys are visually stimulated.

By: Brad

Brad — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:50:03 +0000

I don’t this this one event would cause me to want to give up dating (and I’d encourage you to stick with it too). I’m sure you already know this but I have to mention it anyway: anytime anyone asks for money on a dating site it’s a scam so DON’T send money. Based on your comment it sounds like you already realize this (and find it frustrating) but it never hurts to say it again.

By: Lucille

Lucille — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:43:44 +0000

Brad,

I’ve used spark.com dating site and asked myself if it’s worth the time or money. I recently talked to someone from that site who was working in another country and after about a week or so of chatting he told me he needed help and asked me for money, is this why people go on dating sites shoudl I give up on onine dating because of this experience?

By: Brad

Brad — Thu, 12 May 2011 09:49:11 +0000

While I couldn’t disagree with you more Dana, I do appreciate your input. I would say that everyone should be encouraged to try online dating since 1 in 6 marriages now start online (based on this survey of 7,000 people). Not stick with it no matter what, but at least give it a try.

Also, I think online dating is getting better every year and I’ve seen its results improve since I met my wife using it. Since you haven’t used online dating since 2008 (I’m assuming you stopped when you met your boyfriend) things should be better now than when you were using them. For example, I suspect the marriage rate in 2008 was not as good as 1 in 6.

The more people that use online dating, the more opportunity there is to meet someone and every year the numbers are growing. I fully expect the to see the “1 in 6″ become “1 in 4″ someday. Who knows what the number will look like 10 years from now!

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 12 May 2011 01:13:46 +0000

I am one of those who can boldly state ‘online dating is not for me’ based on my experience. I have attempted it on and off for 5 years – 6 different online services. I met personally a few men and absolutely nothing ever worked. Fortunately nothing bad happened except for unpleasant memories about completely wasted time and money and sense of failure. I will NEVER do it again and I strongly discourage everyone who says that they are hopeful to find love online. Three years ago I met my boyfriend the old fashioned way in real life and we live happily together now. Thank god my friends (who never met anyone online) finally quit suggesting that I should try the Internet.

By: Brad

Brad — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 10:20:58 +0000

I can totally respect the idea that someone would say “online dating isn’t for me”. I can *especially* respect people who say “online dating isn’t for me” after they’ve tried it (which I’ll assume you have). It’s when people say “online dating can’t work” or “online dating is for loserz” that I start to object.

I agree with you 100% that people see online dating as some catalog they’ll browse and find someone, easy as that. It often takes hard work and assuming it will be super easy is what leads many people to fail when using it.

However, I will disagree on your point that online dating can’t make finding someone easier than the “real” world. If you live in a small town, online dating can make things much easier. If you’re moving to a new city soon and want to get into the singles scene before you arrive, online dating makes things much easier. If you are shy, online dating makes things much easier. If you are looking for very specific qualities in a person, online dating makes things much easier. The last point in particular is a great selling point for online dating: how well does the bar or the grocery store get you the qualities you’re looking for in a person? It all comes down to luck there.

Since I started this site in 2007, I’ve seen a very large trend away from the topic of “Is Online Dating Worth It?” or the topic “Why Online Dating Sucks” to a trend of more and more people using it. Depending on whose statistics you believe, between 15% and 20% of all relationships in the US are now generated from online dating…a statistic that would have been unrealistic and laughable just 5 years ago. So now even more so than when I first wrote this article I would argue that online dating is absolutely worth it.

Does that mean every person should be using it? Absolutely not. More power to you if your old fashioned ways are bringing you the love/romance you’re looking for!

By: aaaaa

aaaaa — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 02:41:42 +0000

If I cant make it work with someone i know in the real world, i dont see why online dating would make it easier – i think that’s where people get trapped. they see online dating as some magical solution where you can just flip through a catalogue and find your ideal. Its not like that – any relationship will take work, whethere you meet them online, at the grocery store, or at work.

Also some of us just arent “into” online dating. I get very frustrated when a friend, family member tells me to do online dating. Believe it or not. some of us are just not into finding love on the internet!!!! it’s not that i think everyone out there is a creepster – it’s that plus the fact that the entire ritual does not attract me. Im not saying people dont really meet that way – i know couples that have met online, and happy ones at that. However, it’s just not the way i prefer to socialize – i find the prospect of exchanging endless messages, only to meet and find that you have a bad feeling or gut intuition about someone sort of tedious. I also dislike having long conversations via text messaging. .some of us are old fashioned and like to meet people at work, at the grocery store, or at the bar! YES I am antiquated and NO!!! i don’t plan to change!

By: Fran

Fran — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 00:21:18 +0000

I met someone from Plenty of Fish. I will be more careful the next time. He was touchy/feely and wanted to explore. Sex obsessed. He would send me like 200 text messages a day. Really hard to get rid of on top of it.

By: Brad

Brad — Tue, 18 May 2010 23:57:21 +0000

I think we're just gong to have to disagree on this one Steve. I mean, I met my wife at an online dating site so I'm living proof that it isn't as universally bad as you suggest. Even before meeting my wife, the women I met never left me feeling that things didn't work out because of the size of my pocketbook or the appearance of my stomach. Did I have some lie to me? Sure. But for every woman I met where something went wrong there were five that went perfectly fine. Also, I've shared my thoughts on Plenty of Fish more than a few times here and I am not a fan of that site. I'd recommend you check out OKCupid and see if things are any better at that site for you. You might also want to check out my article on why I think pay sites will continue to do well even though free options are available. Both of the sites you list as problematic are free and I have to wonder if that's part of the problem (my experiences were based on using a pay service).

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 18 May 2010 11:48:18 +0000

Brad,

Maybe you should check out plentyoffish.com or connectingsingles.com to find out what the women are like there. Singlesnet, for instance, is another dating site I’ve tried and found to be rife with scammers and flaky women. I have tried these sites (and many of the big-name, supposedly more reputable ones), and had zero results.

I don’t think the problem is me, it’s the low quality of women who frequent those sites.

You know, one thing I’ve learned in my travels is that women say one thing and do another.